Micro review: Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of a New World (Hours 0 - 2)

FIRST OFF: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

What happens when you take a classic jRPG, add a completely emo protagonist, include a barely-still-a-loli cutie who wants nothing more to impale herself on said emo protagonist's dong, throw in some Pokemon style monster growing, then put it all on the Wii?

Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of a New World! That's what you get.

I have had this game for all of a day and have played it about 2 hours. With 2 hours of experience, here is my micro review:

Characters: Unsure protagonists are kind of a trend in jRPGs but the good guy in this one, Emil, takes the cake. Unsure to the point that everyone yells at him. It is actually kind of refreashing to be honest. They even show him as a coward during the first few battles (instead of the old stand buy: give random person random weapon and he will know exactly how to use it without any doubt).
The main female protagonist, Marta, randomly starts begging for Emil to declare his love for her. He, of course, can't because his balls haven't dropped or something. Seriously, when I say that she probably rapes him in his sleep when they stay at an inn, trust me when I say I mean it. Turns out she has the hibernating god of monsters embedded in her forehead and Emil grains that god's power (which is what makes him less of a coward in battle).
The other main protagonist is a magical dark wolf thing named something I can never pronounce. He's a black wolf that floats around and talks. That's about it so far.
Other than that, the original cast from Tales of Symphonia (on the GameCube) return and one of them is oddly evil. There are also Marta's ex comrades which so far has included random soldiers, a liutenant named Hawk, and a sadistic super-loli named Alice. She even has a riding crop for a weapon. I'm not making that up.

Story: Boy meets girl. Boy pisses pants. Girl needs help. Boy pisses pants then saves girl. Girl wants to fuck boy. Boy pisses pants. Something about a squirrel and natural disasters. Boy pisses pants.

Gameplay: Battles are pretty fun. They are done in real time (though managing characters can be a hassle if you do not know what exactly you are doing). The only thing I do not like about the gameplay in general are cutscenes.

Seriously, when I was playing the game for the first time, I decided to update my Facebook status with my thoughts on the game:

Matt Grob 6 feet cutecene, 6 feet, cutscene, 6 feet, fight, cutscene, disc stops working, 6 feet, cutscene. FFS!

Yesterday at 9:33pm

Matt Grob DRAMATIC SUDDEN VOICE CHANGE! Becoming a knight of a squirrel that lives in the world tree will do that.

Yesterday at 9:41pm

Matt Grob SERIOUSLY, THE CUTSCENES.

Yesterday at 9:45pm

Matt Grob Um...wasn't this city....literally just on fire?...

Yesterday at 10:32pm

Matt Grob Damn, this game should be called "Cutscenes, The Game."

Yesterday at 10:47pm

There was one part where walking from one side of the screen to the other, I hit THREE GOD DAMNED CUTSCENES.

THREE.

Ugh!

Fun: Despite the over abundance of cutscenes, so far this game has been pretty fun. The charactes are actually unsusual for the genre and that is nice. The character interactions can be pretty funny too. Overal, if I were to rate this game on a scale of 1 to 10 so far, it would get a 7. I can tell by the game so far, and it's prequel, that it will get really heavy later on but for now there is just a lot of Marta wanting to get boned by Emil.

Wayward Review: Mario and Luigi - Bowser's Inside Story

This may be a bit of a surprise considering I have yet to review Father Of Death, which will eventually happen I assure you, but today I shall review a game for the first time.

And that game shall be Mario and Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story for the Nintendo DS.

Let me start this out by saying that I have been in a bit of a video game lull as of late. The only game I have spent any more than a moment or two of playtime in recently was Scribblenauts which loses its charm way to damned fast.

But I am not reviewing Scribblenauts, am I? No no no, I am reviewing Mario and Luigi 3.

One of my favorite games for the SNES was Super Mario RPG. It had the right mix of rpg, action, platformer, humor, and seriousness. So too does this game.

Action is split up between the Brothers and Bowser. After consuming a mysterious mushroom from a strange vendor, Bowser sucks up everyone inside Princess Peach's castle, including the mustachio'd duo. While Bowser is out and about trying to get his castle back or kidnap the princess, Mario and Luigi are inside him beating up whatever is invading Bowser and even helping Bowser do certain tasks. For example, if Bowser needs arm strength for a certain part of the game, the Bros engage in a mingame in which they more or less massage his arms from within.

The overworld is navigated in classic 2d RPG style (top down camera) while the segments played in Bowser's body are strictly 2d platformer style.

Battles are much more action oriented than most RPGs. Instead of just picking something from a menu, waiting for to happen, then waiting for your enemies to do take their turn, you are actively participating in every part of the battle. All of your own attacks can be enhanced with proper timing and most if not all of enemy attacks can be avoided or countered with good timing too. As a matter of fact, if you DON'T dodge enemy attacks, you will probably get owned really really fast.

Along with the regular attacks (Bowser can breath fire and punch, the Bros can jump on enemies and hit them with a hammer) there are special attacks which are really fun. Bowser's specials involve his minions (goombas, koobas, bo-bombs etc etc) and are controlled with the stylus. The Bro special attacks don't use the styus but typically have you moving in some way. For example for one attack a picnic basket appears and a bunch of food flies into the air. Luigi then has to catch the food in his mouth as it falls, then he blows up like a balloon, then Mario throws him up into the air. He falls and does damage to the enemies. Some of the attacks are very spectacular and creative.

Along with these "conventional" attacks there are "giant battles." After being invigorated by the Bros (in his crotch no less...) Bowser becomes huge and fights large enemies. There are only 4 giant battles and are fairly unique. It was really nice, as a nerd, to see castles turn into giant robots to fight a giant dragon'ish thing.

Reading through this now, I am surprised I haven't noticed this yet, but the game is hilarious. It seriously has one of the funniest scripts ever. Whether it is Luigi's scardycat goofyness, Bowser's stubborn need to kidnap the princess at all costs, or the main antagonish Fawful's.....well just Fawful is awesome. Fawful's lines are freaking funny.

Thanks to this damn game I have begun saying to myself "I HAVE CHORTLES" whenever I am amused and "I HAVE FURY" whenever I get angry.

By the way, I have only had this game for 5 days. Just throwing that out there.

There are negatives, of course. This game isn't perfect. Here is the run down:


Pros:

+ Very engaging gameplay. There is very little down time in this game, not very much back tracking. Battles are never boring.

+ Nice animation. Characters move with a liquid grace and the ambient animations for characters are oddly detailed.

+ Good graphics. Everything in the game is lovingly rendered and detailed.

+ Hilarious script. Fawful. That is all I have to say.


Cons:

- Way too many minigames. The minigames are fun the first 2 times you do them. But after blasting stamina back into Bowser's crotch for the 4th time, it was boring. And the nose minigame is just a hassle in general.

- Seems to be over really short. I beat this game with 3 days of gameplay. Granted, I played it for 16 hours in those 3 days, but I didn't expect to take a family trip with a fresh game and come home with a beaten one.

- Lack of replay value. Now that I have beaten this game, I probably won't play it again. That's a shame, it really is, but I really have no reason to play it again now.

- The enemy difficulty is a bit uneven. Some monsters I could simply walk over, but there were some that if I didn't dodge one of their attacks, I would be completely defenseless. That is fine for a boss or even a rare miniboss, but not for regular enemies.

Recommendation: Rent it if you can, buy it if you must. Either way, you will enjoy it.





I HAVE CHORTLES!

Wayward Review: The Protomen self titled

Those of you who know me know that I love The Protomen. They are amazing and awesome and sexy...

But they are also an astounding band and just earlier today they released their second album, Act II: The Father Of Death. I preordered it as soon as I could but I still couldn't help myself. At 1 AM this morning I paid for it a second time to download it from Amazon. Yes, I paid twice to get the same album except the one I preordered has a booklet coming with it.

I just had to have it ASAP.

Well, I promised I would do a review of Act II they same day I got it. I figured I would elaborate and I meant the day I got the physical copy of Act II, which will happen sometime this week hopefully.

For now, I shall review their first album, the self titled "The Protomen."

I have an interesting problem here though.

See, since there is a story along with the songs, I do not want to spoil it. I want you to help support this amazing band by buying their album and getting the liner notes to follow the story yourself. However, I HAVE to spoil some aspects of the songs in order to review it so if you don't fancy spoilers, stop reading now and just buy the damned album.

Review time!


As I have mentioned before in another post, the story of The Protomen is based off off of the Mega Man games. The band have crafted a very interesting dystopian story out of the video game idol and turned it into a rock opera, with onstage battles and all. The songs have a refreshingly epic feel to them that I feel is missing from the modern music scene. The band jumps back and forth between extreme musicianship and extreme energy (while taking a hit to musicianship) with each song. Some songs are so frantic that understanding the lyrics is hard, and that my friends is literally the only problem with this album.

Some time before the beginning of the album, the evil Dr Wily has enslaved humanity using armies of robots. One brilliant man has an answer to Wily's control; a living, breathing fighting machine.

Song run down (spoilers ahoy):

Hope Rides Alone
The opener of the album starts like an ancient film you would watch in history class. It recounts the creation, fight, and fall of Protoman. Of particular importance is the lack of support that Protoman gets from the humans he fought for.

Funeral For A Son
A very somber instrumental that perfectly illustrates the feelings of Dr Light after Protoman's death. Light considered Protoman his son, and Protoman's fall was devastating to Light. It is not said in the song, but in the liner notes it is during the span of time this song represents that Light creates Mega Man, his second son and the younger brother of Protoman.

Unrest In The House Of Light
Mega Man has come of age and Light reveals to him that a bed time tale Light has been telling him was based off the fight of Protoman. Light reveals that he sees humanity as a lost cause and that though he may want to, Mega Man should not fight for the humans as the death of Protoman broke Light's will to be free.

The Will Of One
After being told the story of his older brother, Mega Man starts to doubt Light's convictions. Why should those with the power to save humanity not use it. He sees his father at the lowly level of those who will not fight for their freedom. In a fit, he leaves his father's home and finds his brother's grave. Inspired by graffiti his finds, he is resolved to fight for the humans, to finish his brother's fight. He rushes home, gathers a helmet and a gun, then rushes off to destroy the evil robots, much to Light's dismay.

Vengeance
After finding the army of robots "rallying" the humans around, Mega Man begins to massacre the robots mercilessly, all the while taunting them and their leader. He even tells those robots he didn't completely destroy to go back and get more robots for him to decimate. Of very important note is the fact that not once does Mega Man say he is there to fight for the humans, rather he is there to fight for his brother. Near the end of the song, he directly taunts the robot general but gets no response.

The Stand (Man Or Machine)
The robot general then steps out into the opening, revealing himself to be Protoman, shocking the humans and Mega Man. Light, however, knew what had happened to his first son and was hoping Mega Man would not find out. Light steps out from the crowd, lets Mega Man know that his fight was hopeless to begin with, then walks off. Protoman then challenges the humans to fight alongside his younger brother, knowing they won't. He then turns his attention to his brother, forcing Mega Man to realize that he truly stands alone, that the humans will condemn his name as soon as he falls, just as they had done for Protoman. The brothers have a tense standoff with their weapons trained on eachother, but since Mega Man was inspired to fight because of Protoman, he can't bring himself to shoot his older brother and drops his weapon to his side.

The Sons Of Fate
However, Mega Man still has hope. During Protoman's rant, he picked up that Protoman was more jaded than evil. Maybe Protoman could be swayed back to the side of good. The brothers have a quick argument during which it is revealed (subtly) that Protoman is indeed not evil, but after Mega Man confessing that he knows the humans won't fight, Protoman is resolved to fight alongside Wily. The humans chant to Mega Man to destroy Protoman as he is helping Wily enslave humanity. The brothers reluctantly fire at eachother, but only Protoman is wounded. After hearing his brother's last words and holding Protoman as he died, Mega Man begins to openly weep. He had just destroyed his cause for fighting. The humans attempt to show him that he is truly their hero now but instead, Mega Man abandons the humans and leaves them to their fate.

Due Vendetta
Not a part of the story, but still a good song. If the rest of the album were a movie, this song would play during the credits.


As I said before, sometimes the music overshadows the lyrics as far as hearabiltiy goes, especially during The Sons Of Fate. Despite that one discrepancy, this is an extremely solid album that any person should be able to enjoy.

I deem this album a pure win, and so should you.

Standout Song: There is this one part of the album that happens when Hope Rides Alone begins and Due Vendetta ends. That's the best part of it.

Wayward Thought: Of Classes and Complacency

So there isn't much going on the my lil ole wayward life.

I guess I ain't being so wayward.

There are few events worth mentioning. I may be getting a CA job at Parkland which is good and all. It pretty much means I will be getting paid to be at Parkland 2 more days a week. It may seem I am looking down on it a bit, but I doubt it won't be fun. I actually get to help people with Maya yay.

My other classes are...well they are classes. 3d modeling, 3d texturing, using Word (wow), and cutting up paper.

At least a few of my fellow modellers/texturers/Word...ers/paper-cutter-uppers are cute. >> <<

A cute face is hardly enough to make a routine class too fun to handle unfortunately.

Class is class.

My toes still hurt, I have back pains, I ABHOR texturing (but I need to do it anyway), and the first thing I did with my Xacto knife in my art class was stab myself with it.

I guess that's better than stabbing someone else with it.




Well that depends on the person.



I bet all none of you caring about this are wondering "MATT MATT! You said you would do Wayward Reviews often!"

Well, review 2 is coming up soon. The DAY I get The Protomen's new album I will have review it for you. Just for you.

Because I adore you enough to think you will read what I will say about something.

After all, that's a blog in a nutshell, right?

Wayward Thought: Of Unreleased Albums and School

If you know me, then you know I love music. And if you know I love music you know I love Streetlight Manifesto. They are, bar none, my favorite band. Their hyperactive music combined with somewhat dark lyrics is a thrill to my soul.

I wish I was as talented as Tomas Kalnocky is. If I ever become a musician (which I doubt) it will either be because of him or Tommy Emmanuel.

I just noticed they are both Toms...

Wow.

Oh well.

Anyway, Streetlight Manifesto has a new album coming out "soon" called 99 Songs Of Revolution. They said they have it done and it is nearing release, but they haven't released any more info than that.

Supposedly it is going to be a cover album. Which will rock.

Because that means their version of Hell will be on it and the original is one of my favorite songs ever. If only they would do a cover of The Ghost Of Stephen Foster...

God I want them to hurry up. I doubt it isn't going to happen until the Warped Tour ends though.

Bummer.

Though I plan to see them up in Chicago because why not?


I know what you are thinking: "tacos." But besides that, why make a post about 1 album that isn't out yet? How about another?

The Protomen.

One of the most unique bands ever.

They took the story of Mega Man, warped it into something dark and dismal, then made a rock opera about it.

And friends, it is AMAZING.

Their first album detailed the rise and fall of Protoman, then the inspired battle of Megaman.

Their second album, "Act II" is going to be FUCKING EPIC.

Because for their second album they are splicing some good ole 80's music into the formula (for some of the songs. Father Of Death is an exception).


And I'll be damned if it isn't an orgasm of music.

Unlike SM's album, a few songs from "Act II" have been revealed.

Father Of Death

Breaking Out

The Hounds (live)

Light Up The Night

Release date is September 8, 2009. The war begins then my friends.

That's 2 weeks from today.

Epic album is epic.


So yep there's the post in a nutshe...

Wayward Thought: Of Unreleased Albums and School

Oh yea, school.

My last semester (maybe ever, hopefully ever) starts today. Wish me luck.

My on campus classes don't start until tomorrow (3 classes, back to back to back, 9 to 4) but I started doing my online class today.

Woot...

Wayward Thought: Of Piercings and Idiots

First off, let me inform you that nothing in particular is setting off this rant.

I just need to get a few things off my back.

First off:

PEOPLE, PAY ATTENTION.

FACIAL PIERCINGS ARE STUPID.

There, I said it.

No, I don't care if it is a matter of pleasing yourself aesthetically. No, I don't care if it is to make sex more fun. They are stupid and you are stupid if you think they aren't.

A friend of mine has what she calls "fangs." Two piercings either side of her bottom lip. Yep, idiotic.

Several friends of mine have their eyebrow pierced. Sure, that's idiotic.

People with one side of their lip pierced drives me nutty because no only is it idiotic, it isn't symmetrical.

Monroe piercings (or whatever they are called) are second in idiotiness only to the tiny little nub nose piercing.

Seriously, I have seen far too many beautiful faces ruined by a little metal dot on their nose.

WHY?

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SHOVE THAT IN YOUR NOSE?

IT DOESN'T LOOK NICE. IT ISN'T ATTRACTIVE. IT LOOKS LIKE THERE IS SOMETHING ON YOUR NOSE THAT DESPERATELY NEEDS TO BE REMOVED.

FUCK THAT SHIT. PULL THAT SHIT OUT OF YOUR NOSE OR VOLUNTEER TO HAVE IT PULLED OUT BY ME.

Body piercings are the same thing: idiotic.

Far too many greats breasts RUINED by nipple piercings.

And naval piercings.

They make no sense whatsoever, at all.

"Look at my belly button. It is shiny!"

Fuck you. Die in a fire so our species will be stronger.

The only piercings I don't find to be mindfuckingly dumb are ear piercings. That does NOT include people who get gaping HOLES in their ears. They are just as stupid as the rest of you piercing loving gits.


One more thing:

Pull up your pants.

Wayward Thought: Of Foot Injuries and Heart Burn

I feel like telling all *counting* 2 of you the crap happening to me right now.

My feet hate me, as does my throat.

I'll start with what has my toes on them.

A few...however long it has been, I went with a friend to Holiday World. Not only did I then figure out that I dislike amusement parks, or at least going to ones with friends who decide "LET'S GO ON ALL THE ROLLER COASTERS 23462346089457609827435609872304958723045 TIMES!" because I hate roller coasters, I also banged up my right big toe.

Anyway, at Holiday World, there is a water park. Yay fun happy go lucky time! We go on this 3 person rafty thingy that was fun. Then we decide to go on the water slide next to it. Fine. There was 3 of us, the slide was a tandem slide.

I went alone :(

Anyway, the slide was actually 3 slides; a fairly straight one, a kinda curvy one, and a really loopy one. I pick the straight one because I have bad luck. Yes Matthew, good choice.

I careen through this slide and rocketed out, skimming on the top of the water. I nick a kid to my right and see this little girl standing in the water right in front of me. She couldn't have been more than 6. I see her and try to stop. How did I stop?

I slam my right foot down through the water really hard.

I end up hitting her pretty hard with the innertube. She was fine, thank goodness, but 10 minutes later, after my friends have gone through the slide again, my toe starts to hurt. There wasn't a step to get out of the pool, but just a slope. Jammed my toe.

And that was the SECOND THING WE DID.

I walked around the rest of the day with a jammed toe. I suppose that kinda bummed me out for the rest of the day. I had to walk around and pretty much wait for my friends because they only wanted to ride the roller coasters. Considering I am scared shitless by heights, I hope they appreciate that I rode ONE with them.

That was that whole day. Drive there, injure myself within an hour, ride one roller coaster because nobody wants to do what I would enjoy at least ONCE, then sit around and wait for everyone, then drive home. I used my time wisely and won a giant Skrat plushy for my friend (because hey, she was pretty awesome at that point) but instead, I have said giant Skrat doll sitting above me in my bookshelf.

It's pretty said to say that the highlight of a day spent at an amusement park is discovering bubble gum fudge.

Anyway, the toe still hurts. Not bad enough to worry me, just noticeable.

That is half the foot fun.

Two weeks ago, I am at karate class and we are doing some light sparring (in which we don't actually hit eachother). Sensei tells us kicks only, so we do kicks only. I throw a pretty squirrely left spinning side kick and it catches my sparring partner right on the point of the elbow. He is surprised it hit him but is unhurt. I collapse.

I drag myself off the mat to nurse my wound. It hurts a lot then I get my dose of adrenaline and get back up. As soon as we start again, a shard of wood from a broken board cuts the skin on the bottom of the big toe of the same foot I hit enough so that when I step back, it would drag the flap of skin and open the wound.

Great.

So when we do some actual sparring, I throw on a sock (which I thought was pretty clever) and get at it.

I get home that night and there is a nice big bruise on my foot. Yay.

Now the bruise is gone but my foot still hurts a bit. Sometimes it hurts enough to think I broke my foot, sometimes its like "yea, I hit that a while ago."

So each foot hurts. My life is a parade of joy and happyness.

Oh yea, I think I have acid reflux. Burps give my heart burn now.

Burps.

BURPS.

BURPS.

Wayward Thought: Of Love and Such

I wonder...every time I start going down the path of a certain relationship I get to a point where the path splits.

The first time I was walking along happily but the path split unexpectedly and I ended up falling off a cliff. The cliff fall was fun, but didn't last long. And I got sick, not from the cliff or the fall, but I got sick all the same.

Once I recovered, I found the path again. That time, however, I came to a split that would have me go in one of 3 directions. Instead of just picking one, I was cautious and just sat on my ass.

Now, only 1 of those paths exist and I have been walking, maybe even running down it. However, it has come to a T and I don't know what to do.

In one direction it is mostly flat and "unexciting" but I can see far down the path and I would love to waltz down it merrily. In the other direction, there are lots of things to climb, vault, build, destroy. Right off the bat it looks fun, but I can't see far at all down that path.

I know not what to do. I am stuck at this intersection and it seems that I keep on going down one path then running back and going down the other a little bit then again and again and again.

And I am tired from all the running.

Wayward Thought: Of Audiosurf and 8 Bit Music

Today's going to be a double post. I have 2 things on my mind, video games and women.

IT'S GONNA BE BIG!

Video games first. Because, it shouldn't be the other way around in real life so it is going to be as such here.

The video game in question is Audiosurf. (I got it off steam).

Audiosurf is kinda like what would happen if Guitar Hero and a roller coaster had hot entertainment sex. You pick a ship (there are about 10 ships, each with different playing styles) pick a song, Audiosurf turns it into a track, then you race along that track picking up colored blocks to get points.

It sounds simple, and it is. But let me tell you something; picking up colored blocks at 2352598745 beats per minute whilst headbanging to Strapping Young Lad is very fun.

Seriously, the speed at which some songs go is insane. See, the game doesn't just create a random track. The track undulates and flows with the song. Each bass kick is a little bump in the track. Mellow parts of the song rise up, intense parts of the song fall down. Blue denotes mellow beats, and it goes up to red for intense beats.

So when I tell you that I have found a musician whose music is mostly downhill and mostly red, I assure you his songs are insane.

And free.

RushJet1.

Mostly 8 bit music with some covers. Some songs, which I will list in a recommended list later this post, are so much fun. And it's just moving left or right picking up colored blocks!

There is a small catch. Apparently I am one of a select few who thought that listening to RushJet1 while playing Audiosurf would be a good idea and so far I have become the defacto champ for most of the songs I have played. Only because I was the first. Here or there his songs may have scores, but more often then not, it's me.

So, until more people play his songs, we really can't tell who is good or who isn't.

But holy crap, his music is FREE.

FREE. I.E. you don't have to pay for it.

How is that NOT incentive to play them?

Well, Audiosurf isn't free. But I got it and 9 other games for 30 bucks so I won't be complaining. (thanks Steam!)

For sake of the post, I downloaded a video recorder and played a few RushJet1 songs in Audiosurf for ya.

Here is Aerial Assault, which is all red and orange. In the video, I beat my high score even though I didn't get the Clean or Stealth bonuses. Also, at the beginning of the video, if you pay attention, it says I am already playing the song. This is because when I tried to record it the first time, it automatically started the song after loading. I didn't have a chance to start the recorder so I stopped, reset, then played it again.

Watch more videos of Audiosurf

Here is Overdrive! (Easter Egg Mode) which is actually harder than Aerial Assault, and my favorite song to play so far. There are odd sound glitches. They are NOT part of the song, but artifacts in the recording.

Watch more videos of Audiosurf

So yea. Audiosurf is 20 bucks and worth it. Also, RushJet1's music is free and worth more than that.

You know what to do.


Recommended songs: (some of these I know are awesome but I haven't played yet)

• Aerial Assault (the song I said was only orange and red)
  
• Almost There
• Cuzzazzy
• Deep Space Dance
• Haunted Dance
• Insurrection
• Konami's Moon Base
• Konamized
• Luminosity and Viscosity
• Overdrive! (and Overdrive! Easter Egg Mode)
• Secrets and Lies
• Tetritechno (and Tetritekno)
• The Final Conflict
• Out Of Reach
• Boss 9
• Math Party

The Wayward Review - Andrew Bird's "Noble Beast"

From today on, I shall be reviewing one piece of media, such as a cd, a movie, a book, so on and what not, and putting it on here for the rest of you good folks to read.

Format is going to be pretty easy to follow. General info about the album, then details in each track, then what I think of the album in general.

First off, is a cd.

"Noble Beast" by Andrew Bird

For those of you who do not know who Bird is, I am no surprised. Though a very successful indy musician, a majority of people only concern themselves with what they see on TV. Though Bird has performed twice on Letterman (both are on YouTube), I am still the only person I know besides the owner of the music store in my hometown who even knows of Bird's existence.

That's a damn shame. Lurking in Bird is a profound musical soul. A soul that doesn't hinder itself with being afraid to make music that is a bit odd. Bird's use of layers and looping is, as I put it, "quirky." He's like a male, American, more acoustic Bjork. Trust me when I say that connection will come up again.

And he is one hell of a whistler.

Notable tracks:

Oh No
The opening track for the album starts out whimsically, with a guitar and some strings in the back. Then he starts whistling and a charming song begins to play itself out. This song shows perfectly how odd Bird's lyrics are. Even though he sings clearly and not quickly, you probably won't be able to follow his lyrics because they can be really bizarre, and this song is a perfect example. It probably won't matter though, because this song is so charming that you just won't mind. A light romp though Bird's creative mind, this song is a good opener to the album.

Masterswarm
I'll be honest, when I first got this album, I didn't much care for this song. The first minute is oddly unbearable. But after that minute, holy god, this song bursts at the seams with awesomeness. Again, you won't be able to tell what the hell Bird is talking about here but again you probably won't care. Like Oh No, this song (after the first minute) is incredibly charming. There is a lot of layered elements going on here but it all fits together. I feel this song would be a lot better without the first minute, which just seems like an awkward excuse to use alternating acoustic guitar riffs.

Fitz and Dizzyspells
Of the Bird albums I have, I have noticed that each album needs the high tempo "dance" song. This is that song. From the get go, this song bombards you with energy. I can't not at least tap my foot to this song, which means bad things when driving, but I digress. Just like most of his songs, there are tons of layers and lots of stuff going on, but somehow Bird is able to make it all fit together. A very good song, I have no real complaints about it.

Effigy
This song shows how great a violinist Bird is. It also shows how skilled he is at layering the instruments that he plays. This song is a bit schizophrenic. It starts out with violins, then switches to guitar for some unknown reason around the 1 minute mark. I really would have preferred him sticking with violins, but the song pulls it off. This song is very soft and gentile. It isn't quick at all. Very calming, this song makes for good reading music.

Tenuousness
The first song off the album I actually heard (the pro wrestler Bryan Danielson had set it as his MySpace profile song). The song starts off with at least 3 layers of Bird plucking away on his violin and it is quite beautiful. When he starts signing, it is quite apparent that this is a song that focuses on the lyrics. It starts off fine enough, then gets odd damned fast and I love it. I love driving while listening to this song. Something about it just makes me want to travel.

Not A Robot, But A Ghost
I mentioned a similarity between Bird and Bjork earlier. This is where the connection is most apparent. This song starts out sounding similar to Bjork's I Miss You. The difference is that I Miss You is done mostly electronically, whereas this song is mostly acoustic. This song is so different than the rest of his songs that it turns out to be a perfect Andrew Bird song. Words cannot say how awesome this song really is. The only problem with this song is the end, ie, it happens.

Anonanimal
This song starts out slowly and builds on itself at nearly every step. Bird's soft lyrics here make no sense but are lovely never the less. A very gentile and beautiful song, I love to read while listening to this song.

Souverian
Like Anonanimal, this song starts out slowly, but builds on itself a lot slower, but not to as many layers. Also, the sudden interruption by the piano is pleasing to the ears. An amazingly soft song, this is yet another reading song.


As for notable tracks, that is about it. That isn't all the tracks, but those are the ones I like the most. All in all, this is a good album. For someone uninitiated with Bird, I would recommend listening to "The Mysterious Production of Eggs" first, but this album is just as good. As I mentioned for most of the songs, I love reading while listening to this album. It is very calming and I find I can actually pay attention to the book longer while listening to Bird's music. That isn't to say that the music is forgettable or unremarkable, they just put me in a mood to do something relaxing.

Rating:
4 out of 5 stars.

Best Track:
Not A Ghost, But A Robot definitely.

Omnitheism

Just for the hell of it, I shall start out this wonderous blog out with something that I have posted on YouTube: my religion.

What I believe in is Omnitheism.

For those of you who do not know what Omnitheism is, here is the definition:

Noun

omnitheism

1. The belief that all religions contain a core recognition of the same God.
2. The belief that every entity is a God.

Taken from Wiktionary.

Simply put, I believe every god exists, and I have my very own reasons for believing that.

Before I get to what exactly I believe, let me first explain what led me to the conclusion.

American Gods.

The book, American Gods, by Neil Gaiman. It's a fantastic book, and I read it at the time because I was a big fan of Gaiman's. Now I'm a whore for Orson Scott Card, but that is just me liking an author here or there, nothing to do with faith. Sorry, I digress.

American Gods is not a religious text like the Bible or the Koran. It is just a novel about gods. A common theme in Gaiman's books is that all gods exist and they exist because people believe they do.

The book itself is about the Nordic god Odin and his attempts to save humanity (and the other gods) from a war with newer gods. The concept is that humanity has relied on technology like TV, cell phones, and the internet to the point that humans worship them. In worshipping them, humans diefy them. At that point, what is believed to have power suddenly has it, and such amazing things as televisions become gods. Because America has relied on those techological "beigns" for so long, they are called American Gods (hence the name of the story).

I would say that I can't tell you how much sense that made to me, but here you are, reading exactly that. And it did, it made more sense to me than a lot of things. It sure as hell made more sense to me than a virgin giving birth to GOD.

So that is why I believe what I believe, now lets cut the "why" out of that.

Here is what I believe, in a nut shell.

1. All gods that people believe in exist.
2. Believing a god exists makes it exist.
3. All gods give an untangible power to those who believe in them. In return, people have a stronger belief in the god, which feeds said god.
4. The fewer believers a god has, the weaker the god. A god ceases to exist when nobody believes they do.

That's it, really. Let's go through each point in detail now.

All gods that people believe in exist. My reasoning for this is actually number 3. The "power" that I speak of is like a mental strength. Hope, integrity, tenacity, whatever it may be, it cannot be measured and has really no physical manifestation. It is easily observable that people who have faith have a certain mental quality that those with less or no faith don't have. That "power" has to be coming from somewhere. It is my belief that said power is coming from the god that whomever believes in. That is the main reason that I came to believe it. I can only think of one other source for this power, but it seems unlikely and I will get to that later.

As far as number 2, it should be easy to explain if you have read through this entire post so far. There is only one catch I can think of and that is that many people can believe in many different gods, well known or not. Think about it though, you probably haven't heard of any gods that only one or two people believe in. You have only heard of the gods that large groups of people believed in. They are more powerful and more well known. If one person believes a god into existence and only one person believes that they exist, that god isn't powerful at all.

Number 3, well, I explained that partly with number 1. The missing part is the act of believing and what it does for the god. Simple. Person believes in god, god gives "power" to person, person believes in god more, god gives "power" to person, etc etc. Another link in that chain could be that the person could get more people to believe in the god, making the god even stronger and able to give more "power."

Number 4 can actually be observed, kind of. This will also explore the REASON that people believe in gods. Take elemental gods for example. Ancient people looked to water, fire, wind, earth, and saw what they did not understand. How does that work, what can it do, etc etc, they thought that something supernatural existed in the elements. They believed that fire had power, then fire became a god. However, as we have developed scientifically we have grown to know how they work. Because we now KNOW what and how they are, we don't believe that they have power, and as such, they lose that power.

That is why I think people believe in gods in general, to help understand what they can't understand. It's obvious, once you think about it. We have such amazing knowledge about the world now that the only thing we have no scientific ideas about is the afterlife.

Of the 3 major religions, what do they deal with?

The afterlife.

That's why I think Christianity, Islam, and Judaism are so popular, because they help people "understand" what will happen after they die since, scientifically, we can't say what happens.

So there you go, that's why I believe what I believe.

An interesting point that I have come across is that since I believe all gods exist, I can't pick one over another.

But wait but wait, I mentioned a catch in what I believe.

True, and there is a catch. If I have no god to call my own, where do I get the "power" from (if I get it)? Maybe some unknown god gives it to me, maybe not.

What if the power that we get from gods actually comes from our brain, subconsciously making us feel a mental strength in order to cope with thinking that all mighty man in the sky exists?

Guess what that means.

It means that what I willingly admit that what I believe may be wrong.





There we go. There is my first epic blog on this site. Look forward to other Wayward posts, as I will explore other concepts in my life, like my comfy chair. Tis comfy mmmmmm.

Go forth now, live your life, believe in what you want to believe in. Just don't be a dick about it, please.